Thursday, February 17, 2011

I'd rather have a real boyfriend.

It's starting to worry me that every time I talk to my mother she mentions at least one thing about how my car is going to die on me. We don't even have to be talking about my car, or driving, or gas, or anything to do with anything to do with not only my car, but ANY car. She will slip some sort of comment into the conversation. It could be something straight to the point like:

A: Today at work I got one of those big garbage dumpster bins for work.
Momma: I hope you're saving your money because your car is going to die soon.
A: Uhh, I am...well, no, I actually had to pay tuition today so my savings is gone.

Or it could be something a little more subtle like:

A: How are you?
Momma: Work is crazy, MiniSis was throwing up all night last night.
A: Ohhhh, why?
Momma: Some sort of bug. She sleeps on the floor.
A: The bug? (*thinks I'm so clever*)
Momma: What? No. (*too distracted to get my joke*) How's your car running?
A: Actually it's being weird lately.
Momma: I hope you're saving your money.
A: *stomach sinks* How does she know these things...?

Or it could be the ghost voice of my car chanting "I'm sooooooo old, I'm on my last legs", as I'm driving, which has, in turn, made me obsessive about my car's death.

I've had my car for 7 years now. It's the only car I've ever had, and we've been through A LOT together. Without her I don't know where I'd be in life, or what kind of sense of humor I'd have about life. She makes me happy, she makes me mad, she makes me worried, she makes me anxious, she's my inanimate boyfriend, really. I STILL run into her previous owner, who STILL remembers me and asks about her. Did my car have the same effect on this lady as she has on me? LET GO LADY, SHE'S MINE! (Except I would never shout at this lady because she's really very sweet)

So now that I have an income that allows me to actually save money, I'm on my way to saving for a new car. I know what I want (another Honda, of course, I don't know anything else nor do I want to), and what year-ish I want, and what features I want (automatic locks and windows and A HORN [yes, my car has had no working horn for the past 3 or so years]), and a windshield that's NOT cracked like a spiderweb that doesn't make me nervous that it's going to shatter on me one day, probably while driving on the highway. It doesn't matter that I cracked the windshield myself because I forgot to take my club off my sterring wheel one time, it's not important. What is important is that the crack keeps getting longer and wider. When my rearview mirror fell off one day while driving (you don't know how often you use your rearview mirror until it's not there), I glued it back on and the pressure I had to apply while holding it in place made my windshield move. I don't think it should be moving.

So now that I have a goal in mind, I'm obsessed. As I usually am when I work towards something. But I'm not only obsessed with getting the new car, I'm obsessed with my current car failing me. Maybe 7 years is too long for her and she's like, "we're breaking" (and car dies in the middle of the street). So I need to beat her to the punch. However, every time I'm driving I'm convinced I hear a weird sound, or see smoke, or smell something burning. And this in turn convinces me that that day is the day that we break up. So now I drive in constant anxiety and panic (kind of like when you know the person you're with is unhappy, and you are too, and you're just waiting for the moment you both finally realize it because it's just not working anymore [you know who you are]). What would I do if my car broke down? (Oh hi there, roomie) What would I do if I couldn't afford to fix it? (Oh hi there, momma) How do I unlatch my hood to check my oil? (Oh hi there, random stranger at gas station <-- yes, this has happened before)

I only need to be anxious for like, 5 more months, then I can relax and begin to be anxious about something else, because currently all my anxiety is taken up by my car and what kind of tea I should drink today. Too bad I'm too scared to drive to get more tea (I don't actually need any more tea), because I'll hate tea forever if that's what I was on my way to getting when the car and I broke up.


  1. This post made me anxious! I really really need to get my oil changed. BUT my dealer is only open Monday-Friday 9-5. How am I supposed to get it changed when they only offer those hours? My less than 2 year old car has only had its oil changed twice. AHHHHH.

    But please let your car live long enough to drive to seattle in a few months!

  2. My new blog post is inspired by this one. Be happy that you're an inspiration to me.