Thursday, February 24, 2011

Isn't it ironic.

My willpower has been tested. Tested in the same way that a smoker trying to quit would have their willpower tested by waving a lit cigarette in their face. While drinking (I hear it's harder to resist when you've had a few?). While outside (because then it's ok?). While surrounded by 6 other people that are currently smoking. From observation I know these things are hard for trying-to-quit-smoker's. Just like it's hard for myself to have free junk food waved in my face when I don't want to be eating it.

It's now Thursday of my third week of my lifestyle change. I've almost done 3 weeks (minus the Saturday's and Sunday's) of no sugar, no fast food, more vegetables than a vegetarian sees in their lifetime, more canned fruit salad than the grocery stores can keep in stock, and more fiber than my body has ever seen in my lifetime. And I feel great. However, these junk food devils need to stop perching on my shoulder, whispering sweet nothings into my ear about how fantastic their food is, and how good it tastes, and how one, teensy little donut won't do any harm. I'm not sure why they continue to compete with my willpower. When I want something, I usually get it. Persistent little fellows...

Example 1:
It's the first DAY of my lifestyle change, almost 3 weeks ago, and I glance out of my drive-thru window to stare at, and inhale the smell of (it's just something I do now that I deprive myself from junk, because I think smelling the foods I want will curb the craving. It only works like, one out of every 16 times though), McDonald's. By far one of my top 5 favorite fast food joints, McDonald's has been my neighbor when I go to work, and my saving grace in desperate times of needing cheap, quick food. I especially enjoy staring at the giant sign they have posted of whatever delicious promotion they currently have at the time. On this particular day what does it have? Their new buttermilk biscuit sausage breakfast sandwich. I've had it before this day, and they're amazing. I would kill for warm buttermilk biscuits on any day, but then add sausage and cheese? I have to wipe the drool just thinking about it.

But just wait a second, what does the marquee say? FREE BUTTERMILK BISCUIT SAUSAGE SANDWICHES DURING BREAKFAST HOURS ON FEBRUARY 9th & 10th? You HAVE to be kidding me! I may or may not have shed a tear or two. I can't have this sandwich that is basically being SHOVED in my face, begging for me to take it. FOR FREE. I lost count on how many times I had to tell myself I didn't need it, it won't be good, it's not worth the slip up after 10 minutes of eating healthy. That's not to say I wasn't upset. I may have pouted.

The junk food devils took a little break from bothering me, and didn't return until this last week, for full vengeance taunting.

Example 2:

This past Tuesday morning I had class in Chilliwack, and as I wait in the line at the one, solitary parking ticket meter (I hate that campus), I notice a poster on the wall: "FREE FULL BREAKFAST FEBRUARY 23rd & 24th" Great, today's the 23rd. They're offering a free full breakfast (the picture had eggs, toast, hashbrowns, and BACON) on the one morning I'm even on the Chilliwack campus. Did I mention it was free? They're lucky I had no idea where building G, or J, or Z, or whatever it was, was. I may have been able to smell the free breakfast, but I wouldn't put it past my imagination to have been making up the smell.

Example 3:

That afternoon we had a store meeting for work. I pack myself some healthy snacks to get me through, because I know there will be samples galore of all the new pastries we'll be bringing in in the next few weeks, and I have to restrain from having any. Umm, samples, or FULL SIZED portions of the new pastries? The latter. I do have to be fair, the theme was "petite" pastries, so they were small, but the point is they weren't cut up into 8 pieces so that all you got was a fingernail-sized bite of the new peanut butter cupcake. I don't even like peanut butter and I could have smacked that full-sized petite cupcake out of somebody's hand and eaten it without getting peanut butter icing all over my face, if I wouldn't have been judged for making such a scene over a cupcake. I declined EVERY, SINGLE pastry. Every one! I just ate my strawberries instead of devouring a salted caramel pretzel bar. I get emotional thinking about it.

Junk food devils are angry at me for winning. They're preparing to pull out all the stops to break me down.

Final example:

What's that? ROLL UP THE RIM?! I adore Roll Up The Rim. I think in the past 7 years or so, I've won one donut. I've purchased 6000 beverages (and even stopped the car while with the ex one time because there was a Tim Horton's cup in the middle of the road that may or may not have been rolled up [SOME PEOPLE FORGET]), but have only won one donut. Maybe a cookie. Every year I am so desperate to win that I support this stupid contest with such high hopes of winning something cool (I'd even take the BBQ), and I always come out short. Even Momma, the most avid Tim's (or any, really) coffee drinker around, has only won random pastries. Luck runs in the family, let me tell ya.

Ok, so I literally swerve into the Tim's drive-thru on my way home, after reading the sign that the contest is back, and get my first Roll Up The Rim of the year. Momma has instilled superstition upon me that if the rim is rolled up before you're done the drink you'll never win. Or I'll never win anyway. Whatever. I chug my drink, so excited to see "Please Play Again" under the rim, but oh no, just wait, it says "Win Donut" (not "Win A Donut", because apparently cavemen wrote the under-the-rim sayings). After the shock of actually winning subsided, it registered that I won. A donut. A donut?! I can't have a donut! Go away junk food devils, you will not win!!!!!!!!

*Eat more strawberries*
*Wipe tears*
*Curse Tim Hortons*
*Take back curses*

Side note: I was so convinced of my luck change when it came to the contest that I got a SECOND drink the same evening thinking my winnings could only get better from a donut, but saw the "Please Play Again" under the rim. That's the junk food devil's doings, they fight dirty. Not that that will stop me from getting Tim's every chance I can. I mean, I love Starbucks.


  1. DUDE, I have had like 17 000 tim hortons drink since they started that contest, and i haven't won yet! ughhhhh. ross won once tho... haha

  2. jump break! nice.